“The purpose
of our existence is to seek happiness.”
--Dalai
Lama
“Love
life.” Those were the only words on a
sign carried by a friend, Steve Fugate, on his 34,000 mile journeys around the
United States. Steve has lost both of
his children. His response to this
horrible loss was to walk around the country-several times. His precious children are both gone. But this man fiercely loves life and by
sharing his story, he teaches others how to love life.
In my work with people struggling from a lifetime of living with mental health
issues, I often meet families who struggle because
a child has a mental illness. Some
parents will do anything for their child and others decide that doing nothing
and walking away is the best they can do.
Some conditions,
such as bipolar, emerge in children when they are in their late teens and early
twenties. Learning disabilities are
rampant among those I serve. As someone
who has always loved to read (I drove baby sitters crazy reading by flashlight
under my covers late at night), it is heartbreaking to work with individuals
with dyslexia who have never known what it is like to spend a Sunday lost in a
good book.
I want to introduce you to two people I have met in my journeys working with people with disabilities:
Alex, a
wonderfully smart man who did not learn to read until he was 18. He is bipolar
and has dyslexia. No one noticed him
struggling to read until he had lost his youth.
He shared that he tried to commit suicide several times because he knew
he was different but did not know why. He
has spent a lifetime of regret wondering what would be different is someone had
noticed his disability earlier and intervened sooner.
Roger, a
caring man who has never been able to keep a job more than a few months because
of his disabilities until now because he is getting the supports he needs. He has bipolar, learning disabilities, and barely reads, with no
ability to understand numbers. He
struggles every day of his life with things most people take for granted. He shared with me that when he was in public
school, teachers knew he could not read or do math but they passed him from one
grade to another anyway. He said he felt
ashamed to ask for help because he was the child and all the adults in his life just turned away and looked the other way.
Who are we as
a country if we cannot recognize when a child is struggling with school work or
missing school for unexplained reasons?
What kind of country are we that we allow children who through no fault
of their own have dyslexia, learning disabilities, depression or attention deficit
disorder to not be properly diagnosed and effectively treated? It takes a
village to grow healthy children.
Just
as all children deserve access to healthy foods and time outside in nature, all
children deserve access to mental health services and all children deserve
happiness. A young man called me this
week to say that when he went to his first appointment for mental health care he
was told that his copays were $40/visit, beyond his means. Why should taking care of bipolar or social
anxiety disorder cost more than a well child visit?
We can do
better. Learn about the mental health
resources in your community. We are the
village. Help a child. Listen.
As Steve Fugate knows too well, kids are really good at holding in their
feelings. Often we find out something is wrong when it is too late.
Be the change you want to see
in the world. These are our children.
Their mental health is directly related to the health of our communities.
For more information about mental health, please visit the National Institute of Mental Health website at www.nimh.nih.gov.
In gratitude,
Nancy Heinrich
Founder,
Growing Healthy Kids, Inc.
